Homeless or Dead

"Take my hand, sweetheart." Jake stated, with a desperate tone in his voice.
"No." I answered, with the most confidence I could muster.
I shouldn't hold it against him, but the only time anyone ever called me sweetheart was when they were angry at me. This wasn't really different.
"Nora, I can't love you."
Okay, maybe it wasn't a desperate tone, just one that wimps use when people aren't cooperating with them.
"If you can't love me, don't tell me to hold your hand."
I'm so done with him. I'm so done with everyone. Too bad suicide is a sin, and running away will just leave me homeless or lost. I don't really know which one would be best. I don't really know why I'm wondering. But I guess being dead would be equivalent to being homeless and lost, for me at least. So maybe I'll just go with lost. Maybe I'll just wander for a while.
"Jake, what would you do if I told you I never wanted to see you again?"
Jake stopped walking away, I kept shivering.
He turned around and looked at me, as if I was one of his patients in need of some hardcore medication.
"I would say that you don't have the choice, sweetheart. You're stuck with me until you die."
Ironic. Normally that kind of thing comes along in a marriage vow.
"I never want to see you again."
Standing up was difficult, but I did it.
"Too bad Nora, you don't have the choice."
He was staring at me from across courtyard, but was distracted when his cellphone started ringing.
"To hell with choices."
I took the pill out of my pocket, placed it on my tongue, waited for Jake to get the chance look at me, then swallowed my deathwish.

life was pretty kind to me after that.
life was pretty mean to Jake after that.

Just a Waste

crayons lined up according to color

rainbow formation

lights hung in careful balance

desired perfection

ladies dressed in flawless white

no connection

men comparing their lofty sum

no connection

He held your hand

He held your heart

He held you close

He tore your world apart.

She smiled at you

She laughed with you

She learned with you

She burned down with you.

he watched you fall

he watched her cry

he blamed his mom

he resisted the urge to die

The sooner you decide to stand up and fight the odds

The sooner they will have the chance to shoot you down

Take the advice of someone who knows

just how simple it is to disguise your frown

take one step, take another.

don't look at a single face

keep your eyes low, DON'T SPEAK

don't you know?

they're in the business of grace

trace a steady line

from your heart

to your head

when the clock strikes nine

make sure that

you are dead

Make a Decision

Do you ever feel like you've been pushed and prodded, ever so gently, into a situation that makes you want to stand up and yell "I AM SO SORRY" and then curl up into anyone's arms and cry?
and when you're in that situation..
Do you ever wonder why you let someone other than God open your chest and open your heart and claim what they see fit?
and after you've let yourself become so vulnerable..
Do you ever stop and realize that what is going wrong is all your fault?

We're allowed to ask for help, we're encouraged to ask for help.
but when asking for help really matters, we aren't allowed to have problems.
so everyone expects everyone to deal with their own issues, in covert ways so that the burden is never shared.
and we complain about life being hard?
but most of us have no idea what having a hard life looks and feels like.
I have no idea what a hard life looks and feels like.

so. if we don't really know what a hard life is, then that must mean we have relatively good lives.
of course, that depends on you, opening your eyes and accepting the fact that God has blessed you more than you can comprehend.
so if we have good lives, or any kind of life at all, we have the choice to enjoy it.
It is a decision.
a common misconception is that deciding to enjoy life means pasting a smile on every morning and keeping that smile intact until you're safe in your bed that night.
wrong.
that is not enjoying life, it's putting on a facade that you are.
enjoying life is a decision, but one that has to be made again and again and again until it's true.
I think something that recent generations have missed is that
to enjoy life
you
have
to
work
hard.

which will require your tears, your sweat, and your blood.
but it's worth it.
it's worth every tear, every drop of sweat, every drop of blood,
if at the end of the road as Jesus sweeps you up into Heaven, you look back and remark, "Hey, through all the tough stuff, I really enjoyed that."
And then Jesus, wrapping you up in His arms says, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

yeah, that would be worth it.

Old Flame

I never meant to break my promise
I never meant to disappoint You this much
but I did, oh I did

common ground was not so common anymore
so I let my heart wander out the door
and I lost it, You know I lost it

I choked on water when You pulled me from the waves
I didn't know that You had pulled me from my grave
so it happened, I ran away

my burden fell off as I took longer strides
I didn't notice what was buried inside
now I feel it, oh I feel it

my fingers dripped with something that gave me a fright
was the blood from your heart or was it from mine?
... or was it from both, was it from both?

Please let me stay awhile
in this garden, where I smile
Don't let it fade away
I don't want to shut down again

I never meant to do that, I never meant to lose it
I never meant to run away, I never meant to feel it
I never meant to make you bleed
I never meant to make you bleed

Today

I don't have much to say. haven't been writing a whole lot. just playing guitar and piano and singing.
more and more, I've been realizing lately that I dwell on the past. too much.
maybe.
this afternoon, a bunch of old journals entertained me.
I ironed a stockpile of neglected letters. now they are nice and smooth and safely tucked away in a puppy folder I got in 5th grade.
safely tucked away. time will probably not be kind enough to let me go through everything I rediscovered today, but I don't really mind.
goodnight.

The problems of the past darkened the sky today
and as it grew worse I became afraid
The promise of tomorrow restored my hope for today
and I don't have to be afraid...

I Know I'm Alive

All the following thoughts will probably be made into a song.

sometimes I live life just because I have no other choice. obviously, that sounds super pessimistic and discrediting of all the blessings that have been showered upon me, but, thay's just how it is. ..attempt to give some clarity to what I'm saying: I LOVE MY LIFE, but there are times that I let things become dull.
whenever these monotonous days come around (days that typically turn into weeks), I give the whole situation as little attention as possible. I may heed the fact that everything seems a bit useless, but what i know counters the way things seem. I know that I'm alive for a purpose. praise Jesus.
anyway, when life seems dull, and when everything seems useless, there are things that bring me back to feeling really alive. so far, they're basically all adrenaline rushes, but they feel good.

1. riding roller coasters
2. freezing cold showers
3. watching thrillers
4. running in the dark

Just Because I Can't Get It Straight Unless I Write It Out..

I don't like journaling because my hands cramp. Blogging seems to be just the perfect alternative. Because there are some thoughts that can't be captured before my hands cramp, so why not type them? wait.. type what, your hands or your thoughts?
HAA, my thoughts, silly!

to cut to the chase, the following is a question I've been consumed with lately..

what are you supposed to do when you're trying your best but disappointing everyone?
... all I know is what I shouldn't do:
cry about it
get wrapped up in making people happy, that's not my job
give up trying my best
blame my deficiencies on other people
take out my wounded pride on my friends

ALL MY LIFE, I have had the ability to approach a problem, or a question in my head, with confidence because I knew I would overcome it, or.. answer it.
example: "Why does he act that way?.... because he's selfish, i was mean to him, and he is having a rough time right now." problem solved
example: "Why do I suffer even though I live for Christ?" (okay, I've never really asked this question, because I've always known the answer...*PRIDE* ugh.) "Because the world does not love Christ, so standing up for His name and living in His love will lead to temporary suffering."

even in the past year, I have felt that way. That I can solve anything on my own. and that is so wrong, so ignorant of the fact that I have such limited knowledge.
but, due to recent experiences, I have been questioning everything. well, at least, questioning everything I have ever came up with on my own. which is probably a good thing. it just hurts. and hinders motivation to thrive in this thing called life.
I know what it looks like to be doing the right things, to be living the right way.. and for the most part, I do that.
I go to school and enjoy it, trying my best to get good grades.
I strive to be the best friend I can be.
I am working on being a better daughter, sister, and most of all better child of God.

but I don't feel motivation. I wake up and feel indifferent.
but I know I should be motivated. I should wake up with a purpose.
but I don't.

and I don't know how to fix it.

boo

happiness was never so much of a lie

than forty years down the road when she looked into his eyes

this was supposed to last forever

how come it all went wrong?



the static on the radio drowned out the word

we deciphered everything, but no one else heard

the cry of the mother who would never hold her child

as the broken soul ascended to the sky



This is why I can't be your valentine

tonight, or tomorrow



time and time and time again I've tried to explain

the problems that came my way but to you it's all the same

I know you hoped to understand

but we are different, and I don't think that you can



the other day a stranger called my friend a name

it was so out of place but she did not complain

of course, it's not a crime

but it hurts 'cause she gets it all the time



This is why I can't be your valentine

tonight, or tomorrow



You keep pushing me away

and I don't even know what to say

but maybe at the end of the day

we'll be in a better place

... maybe not

C9138D0A-6D77-0655-A951-78350CE8EE4A

1.03.01

The Things That Happened When Life Came Around

After I survived the hardest weekend of my life
I ran to a place out in the hills
I fell and I did not think twice
But now I had a chance to start over again

I could not have asked for more
but still I cried myself to sleep
it's tough to find there is no cure
but heaven let me start all over again

The moon shone bright late last night
but clouds came in and blurred the light
People all stared but no one cared
as the ten year old kid screamed, "Life's not fair"

Did you feel the thunder as it tore out of the sky?
did you hear her heart break as she witnessed another lie?

Do you still swear by His name
or have you given up the fleeting fame
It's not about where you are now
as long as you push away the doubt

The one thing that this world needs
is someone to save the hurting
but people won't miss what they don't know
so it's up to us to have the courage to show..

A little more love
A little more love
A little more love

Talking about all the pain
made the memories come alive once more
I can not hide or admit the shame
but now I have the chance to start over again

When All Else Fails, Breathe.

I'm just a little girl looking for a hero
I'm just a hopeless youth fighting for a cause
I'm nothing more than a storm drain when it pours
I'm nothing more

than selfishness

This is one hell of a world we are all living in
With all the luck, fear, and hate that holds us to the ground
before today, I'd refuse getting accused of being so naive
but fate is fate
and now I'm wondering if you'd mind if I was dying

The walls came tumbling down
the bridge burned outside your house
and I was gone without a sound...

I don't know if I'm on the bright side
I don't know if my eyes are closed
I don't know if I'd try to turn the tide
but I suppose
I'll never know.

Monsters, Demons and the Like

wrote this last year, the sad part; it still means something.


Chasing year old dreams & nightmares
waving goodbye and singing, "Stay fine"
no one sings like you
no one sings like you
Grieving the fate of longed for hope
one sided fear opposing love that's clear
no one runs like you
no one runs like you

You Paint
A delicate picture of seasons
and something about her
You Make
the fragile seem solid
And you could make it come crashing down

Never losing a single stride
the worthless past and questions asked
no one hurts like you
no one hurts like you
contemplating the simple things
Always answering "You better stay fine"
no one smiles like you
no one smiles like you

Right now, you don't know
who I am, who you'll be
Right now, you can't see
who you are, who I'll be
Back then
we were friends
nothing more, nothing less
Back then
isn't right now
we can't stop, what's going forth
no, we can't stop
what's in front of us

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsJsYThJSzU

The Town Near The Valley

I saw a shooting star

I saw a speeding car

I heard a voice on the radio

and I thought of you

I saw an empty park

I walked home in the dark

I wished ten different things

when I thought of you

You slept a hundred days

but dear, nothing has changed

except for the shade of my hair

'cause I thought of you

I sat near a tree
but your voice I couldn't reach
I walked for three long days
and I thought of you

I saw a small blue house
I stood alone in a crowd
I prayed all day and night
cause I thought of you

I slept way past dawn
in hopes to sleep away this song
I dreamed more than I ever have
while I thought of you

I'd run a thousand miles

just to prove you wrong

I'm not so unreliable

just working on where I belong

Something to be Reckoned With

And you know one day you'll see
everything clearly
and you know one day you'll be
perfectly wrong
and you know one day, one day we'll be
everything you wanted

do you know what you want?
do you know what you've got?
do you know, do you know

And someone has gotta be
strong for the rest of us
you know how much we are weak
and nothing every fills us, fills us
Oh, won't You come and fill us

...

do you know what you want?
do you know what you've got?
do you know, do you know

you never saw the brokenness that made us
you only saw the light shining through the darkness
I was swallowed by my pride
while you swallowed yours

you know what you want. you know what you've got.

resist

I don't understand why it is so easy to give up.
it's so easy to give up.

emotions are unreliable.
one moment you will something to last forever.
the next you can't wait for it to end.
you take steps to make it end.
or you just give up.

people are unreliable.
even when your emotions manage to become consistent.
if someone hurts you.
bam.
i give up.

words are unreliable.
mostly because they have everything to do with people and emotions.
because any word can basically have a hundred different meanings.
and how are you to know which one it is?

so what is reliable?

if I can't trust
emotions
people
words
and everything else that is messed up in the world.
what can I rely on?
what can we rely on?

or. who can we rely on?

"These things I have spoken to you,
so that in Me you may have peace.
In the world you have tribulation,
but take courage; I have overcome the world."
- john 16:33

Fire Jump The Freeway

It came like a storm
no one could prepare for such a nightmare
The flame, you adore
could light up a house or quickly burn it down
Passed out from the smoke
you never thought it would do such damage
No doubt, you will cope
times like these eventually pass away

but lately buildings have collapsed
and we might never make it back
All for the cost of pulling out the lost

You won't ever know
the many things that can rise out of ashes
They don't ever grow
People stare but everyone passes by

'For Love'

Stopped writing about your heroes cause they
burned down the right to keep believing
Should have known that your tomorrow
would spark the start of everyone's leaving

But I'll sink in what you say
because words are all okay
And Time will prove the change
you made on yesterday

Canopies are falling
and you are stuck there calling
a warning to keep love at bay
Hearts twisted in goodbyes
will never see a sunrise
But you swear it'll be okay

And promises are made to be broken
let's hope that doesn't apply here
God only knows the pain we all feel
and truth is a step away from near

But we'll keep a steady gaze
meet you on a cloudy day
And we'll miss the danger
Oh, we'll sink in what you say

Retrace the pristine footsteps
all is clean and well kept
you didn't see the dirt you walked on
till the very ground you had was gone

I do enjoy ranting.

five minutes to midnight sounds like a song title.
I bet you 10 dollars it is.
HA, THAT'S RIGHT. 10 dollars please.

I had to look up the words "5 minutes to midnight" to discover that it's a song.
you may notice now that I am not even a moderate Boys like Girls fan.
love drrrrunkkkk s word blahblahblah, creative right?
no.

okay fine, it's a catchy song.
oh wait, who ever changed the world with a catchy song?
that's right, JUSTIN BIEBER. <-- don't really care if I spelled that right.
but how long will he last? dear Jesus, if "artists" like him become the good ole classics 50 years from today, could you just take me now?
uh, I guess "Jesus Loves Me" is a catchy song, but, its the combination of catchy & meaningful that made it go so far right? ... I think so..

I completely understand that 2 people will read this.
you, one of the dear two people, must understand that I love dissing anything and then subsequently taking it back.

Furthermore, when duty calls one must answer, correct? I feel it is my duty as of this moment to gush out the above statements.
I'm not completely sure how many times the last sentence changed tense.

I really don't appreciate that row of books that periodically slips into a near horizontal position. The whole predicament threatens to shove me into a mood wherein I would tear all the books off the shelf, laugh because gravity can no longer have its way with the lousy collaborations of paper, then slump over and pick up the books before dad advises me to do it.

We All Have Stories

She walked a narrow path
through the trees
Till she stopped at one
and decided she was hungry
She turned around
and saw her trail
She perceived a host gathering
and then she fell

No matter what, make sure you breathe
and you'll be... fine

A little rose
fell down with her
She grabbed its stem
it gave a little shudder
it wilted, but for the first time, she felt alive...

No matter what, make sure you breathe
and you might be fine

She stopped herself
and wondered why
why this hand of hers
made a flower die
In the end you know, this shadow
will make it's way back to where it came from
but you will only see the light
if you open your eyes

45 million lives and counting.

Are we living for death?
.. but it's so easy, so fast, so insignificant.
you would never know how easy.
you would never know how simple.
is it bad to make life a little easier?
a little more simple?
Oh, so we live for simplicity.
in a place that discourages purity. WHAT?
Well, I am ready to be
hurt,
challenged,
hated,
in an endeavor to open doors for
Trust,
Hope,
and Love,
to rush into this madness.

I'd like to be known as an... optimistic pessimist.

And one particularly dull evening, Cameron Jones was on the verge of enlightenment. The causes were never breached but the effect was obvious; he was a genius, in his own respect. So he sat, repeatedly exchanging insight with the restless air around him, constantly wavering in his position wether or not to confront a more participant audience, and reluctantly observing that people were much too fickle to settle down and understand. It was simply a sad thought, that humankind had gone so far as to wearily dismiss exuberant optimists. But it was natural, his own life had experienced the enjoyment of being pessimistic and hopeless. Granted, some patient souls had reason to be that way, though reason had seldom convinced anyone to do anything.

Impulse

Blood pulses through my veins
faster, faster, but all the same
this fragile friendship now proclaims
an ignorant blessing
is shared in pain

I overcame my distant fear
all the while drawing near
freeing from my selfish outlet
the only moment I held dear

Singing & shouting is all but wasted
the love I expect, just barely tasted
crude in exposure
the vitals faded

Though, maybe my heart was justified

Resentful & bitter to all but one
dismissive until the best was done
craving the attention
but never minding the setting sun

Was it fair to not back down?
no, I am the reason for that frown
the patient soul who deserved so much
trapped in this obsessive town

Have I created this complication?
unlocked a heart for invasion?
Oh, I am at fault

My intentions were never justified

Here On Out

who are you living for
what are you waiting for
how are you doing now
who are you obsessed about?
have you changed at all
do you cry the same call
are you friends with them still
is your life about having thrills?

Cuz I hope that, you've learned some things
and I pray that, you aren't the same
and I wish you, the best of a life
just remember, you have to try

have you answered those cries
do you resort to lies
will you see skin deep
or fall down on your knees?
will you strive to change
can you share the blame
are you wasting time
have you crossed the line?

are you the person I knew so well
will these questions be of help?
have you strayed from who you are
have you killed the chance of my heart?

cuz I hope that, we'll learn some things
and I pray that, we won't be the same
and I wish us, a good long life
if we'll strive to, do what's right

Spring Mistake

Breaking these emotional ties
instead of relying on your lies
exaggerating the pain
won't get you a good name
avoiding the inevitable
won't ever be helpful

if thats all you're aiming to do...

Lets go back to the place where this started
& the look on your face, was I a target?
how about we stop complicating simple things
and participating in unhappy endings

Cringing away from confidence
Choose now and get off the fence
screaming for love
you'll never get enough
shouting for peace
won't convince me

if thats all you're aiming to prove...

The Best Things Only Last a Moment

I saw a flicker of love cross your face
I smiled cause you have innocence that still remains
nothing blocked the way that you felt
cause for the first time in a long time, you knew it well

that ray of joy that surpassed your hate
soon swallowed by what hit you, far too late
then it suddenly flashed from your face
if I could I would cherish the image, till my dieing day

If you were a star you'd have shined brilliantly
don't you know that you could be all you could be
if you'd just breathe

ignore what people have to say
and enjoy the beauty of the light of day
adore all you have before its gone
don't let people stop you, from carrying on

You Were Never Alone

The emotion on your face
that sorrow, a bitter taste
Rejected, marked as greed
is your heavily burdened need
Hushed are your spoken words
aimless, in search for cure
But determined, you'll always be
to find, to know, the freest free

Steady, you learn to go
but shame you'll forever know
harmless, though life may seem
Sometimes a nightmare; the cruelest dream
But wake! Oh heartless soul
in the end, there is a goal
One is waiting with open arms
to carry you through your endless harm
He came to set you free
Just call, and be redeemed

Dear You

Run Run, little one
for life is short at hand
Flee Flee, darling
for your days are soon to end
Wake Wake, slumberer
you have a heart to defend
Dream Dream, children
as long as you are friends
Scream Scream, grievers
you have a voice to lend

Love Love, little one
live without regret
Hope Hope, broken heart
have faith and do your best
Cry Cry, unheard voice
before eternal rest
Leave Leave, spotless soul
cherish that innocence
Fight Fight, hardened life
hold on to what is left

Run Run, little one
for your life is not a dance
Hush Hush, hasty child
there are many seeds to plant
Come Come, wanderer
form a steady stance
Stand Stand, restless heart
accomplish what others can't
Keep Keep, that pureness
your potential needs a chance

Complications

And when you're gone
I hope you remember
my heart is yours
forever
and when you're alone
I hope you recall
the time we had
when nothing went wrong

Lately my life's been moving slowly
waiting for you to say your goodbyes
someday I pray we meet again
sometime soon my friend

And when I'm lost
I will remember
My heart was yours
for never
And when I'm alone
I will recall
the time we spent
when everything when wrong

The complications
that urge you to move on
yours always weighing
the pros and all the cons
your hope it flickers
flickers off and on
I'll be your friend now
until you've up and gone

Will You Rise At Midnight?

Why do you tear down these walls of innocence?
Guess I'll build bridges of senselessness
How can you fake all the things you own?
Yet shout about everything you know?

Maybe I'll just quit
Cuz I really don't fit
here at all.

Planning this Emotional Suicide
It's better than watching you die
You don't hear a word I say
just leave your thoughts at bay
Well I'll confess
It's my selfishness
that's throwing you aside

Let me get this off my chest
Sometimes I think that I'm the best
And there aren't many things worse than that
But you have. to. understand.

Planning this Emotional Suicide
Its all because I'm watching you die
We were such good friends
so how did that end?

I have to stand up for myself
cuz no one else will
Oh, no one else will..

Edgar Evenstar

In the gloom has she dwelt
love nor care has she ever felt
save the says of old/past
a shadow it has cast
upon the soul and the floor
windst she dwelt, forevermore

Hearts are bound to hold pride
ignorance, arrogance, lies
Soon to chain and bind
themselves deep inside
till scarce a word uttered
has not been frequently muttered

Lying on the dark, damp ground
tis lost and never found
the soul that passed from life
but behold, she n'er truely died
the mind left to wander
without a thought to ponder

Bringer of Light

Well, I've never thought that your happiness was uncool

But first impressions always manage to fool

My narrow perspective saw what it believed

And I glad. you came. to shatter that glass

It's easy enough, to turn in a huff

when the truth is open and out

My heart was torn up, but you were a crutch

that I never had to doubt

[[chorus]]

Oh my

Kindred spirit, the mem'ries we share

will last forever with some good care

you may not know it but everyone sees

nothing can shake

you and me

And when I cried, you offered your shoulder

cuz "That's what they are for."

And when you couldn't stand your life

I'd remind you, "There's so much more."

like overcoming misery

laughing at the future

And opening the knocked on door.

[[chorus]]

Oh my

Kindred spirit, the mem'ries we share

will last forever with some good care

you may not know it but everyone sees

nothing can shake

you and me

Current Situation

This isn’t about what you think it is

things always play out the way we should have missed

a tight smile, a sudden glare

a deep thought, a tactless care

time depends on your hands

where she goes you wouldn’t dare

One thing leads to another

but not in this case

who cares, he’s your brother

who knew, you’re a fake

two lives, one broken heartbeat

to far, to make the ends meet

so little time you have

to comprehend what she needs

But as soon as the topic comes up

the topic is erased from our memory

because we’d rather feel brand new

we’d rather reminisce old memories

Heed the Smile and Screams

v1
How can you (2x) have it all figured out

walking quickly but you never ever look down

Holding this flag (2x) its white as a cloud

I'm not giving up yet, but I'm slowly bowing out

chorus

Hold up and make some noise

cause I haven't heard a thing for so long

just wait, I'll tell the boys

That you're running off without a single song

without a single sound

v2

Just you wait (2x) till things stop going well

burning buildings, but you've got a smile to sell

Fall alone (2x) we will if we wish at that well

I'm moving on no more time to kill

chorus

v3

Shut it down (2x) or bring it back again

its up to you, but me as well to be a friend

Meet me soon (2x) on the street of hearts to mend

we have some subjects now and letters to send

chorus

bridge

Black & blue aren't the colors of us

I turned to you when I needed so much

Empty pages fill the possible books

frowning faces fill the lives that you took

Control

The course of sea never took its toll on me

as we traveled through oceans of faces

Open gateways murmured their lovely rhymes

And your condolences were never a match to mine

The course of fate refused to catch them too late

lining hallways seldom stood souls

To resist was never an option openly spoken

But the ways in which to succumb were taken

Tuesdays, beckon you to come

Fridays, beg you to run

Sundays, bring you back again

All week your heart, you defend

The sleet and rain endeavored to abstain

Subside quickly became awaited on

All we could do was lull through your goodbyes

In ourselves we attempted to confide

some things require no reason

Do you find it hard to relax and stay calm

Do you pick yourself up after you fall

Tuesdays, beckon you to come

Fridays, beg you to run

Sundays, bring you back again

All week your heart, you defend

I've got nothing to lose, nothing to keep, nothing to write a psalm for

"I love you" he said and it was written in red

I've got everything to lose, everything to love and die for

what about you?

what will you do?

when everyone lets go of your hand

Fitting Into That Category

vs.

the pace of your mind, the careful design

did it ever get you far

the blood on your hand, the etches in the sand

will they heal all your scars

pre.chorus.

but it's too late to save this

I'm too scared to play this part

I wish that this would last forever

but some things they have to change

no matter how much you are clever

the beat of your heart's the same

One day, we'll know, if I was the one for you

Last chance, to say, what you always thought you knew

vs.

the darts shot around, the cold of this crowd

it will always make you run

the fault of your thought, the laughter that you bought

you are never ever done

pre.chorus.

but I'm too weak to save this

you're too smart to play this part

Always Love

Always love
Always hope
just be tough
learn to cope
hug your friends
nicely joke
say amen
be a dope
be yourself
be your own
ask for help
come back home
never doubt
win the race
life's about
keeping faith

Matters of the Heart

Things always start out simply
but they complicate so quickly
the one thing that I know
is I hardly learn from anything

.....

Please don't let this end
Please don't let this stop
this time, so soon

How many times do we have to
hurt this bad, oh only a few
the resolution never came
cause I never learned from anything

.....

Please don't let this end
Please don't let this stop
this time, so soon

I have accomplished
the one thing that I promised
I would never do.

He Couldn't Even Start

wiping a tear from her eye

he promised, "This is the real goodbye"

she turned a corner

and drowned him in lonely lullabies

Live in the colorful world

of butterflies

don't resist, you'll understand

in time

But

"dream on, you can't go wrong accepting the lies"

is what he screamed through his eyes

their stares darted through his heart

where they stop he couldn't even start

keep a watchful eye

she'll drown you in lovely lullabies

Live in the colorful world

of butterflies

don't resist, you'll understand

in time

But

"dream on, you can't go wrong accepting the lies"

is what he screamed through his eyes

dont lose who you are

just because you got so very far

they'll carve their words into your heart

and you will beg to rewind

That One Epic

It's too bad no one watches you break down

It's cuz of the walls you build that no one's around

That's all we care about

All we ever had

Across the endless ocean he heard call

the voice of a stranger made him fall

The cries of his mother pushed him on

for the stranger was a beloved one

Pulling me away

Swallow me into a perfume
of yellow and blue
"I didn't want to hurt you"
that is so new
The ending never had
any light
Except the little that pulled me
away from you

But,
Fading into a dimmer star
and creating the maze that you are
could resurrect the shame, we hide away
Planning a trip to over seas
could complicate your biggest dreams
just don't forget to, forget about me

Now the Poison is sinking in
But the reason is wearing thin
Keep your distance or make amends